For those of you who missed our February Webinar by Beth Fitch who presented on effective mentoring, we’ve summarized the takeaways. Enjoy!
Beth Fitch discussed the importance of cultural legacy and how it can impact who you are as a mentor or mentee. How you conduct yourself is a direct reflection of your culture and your legacy. We must be aware and mindful that we are always influencing someone, and we are always leading or following someone. Here are the most important things to learn and remember when looking to be a mentor or mentee.
Things to think about:
- Who was a positive influence over you?
- What is the positive character trait that you attribute to your cultural legacy?
- What do you need to overcome from your cultural legacy?
Understand who you are before entering a mentoring role.
Differences between a mentor and sponsor:
- The Mentor helps develop self-awareness, character, skills, goal developmental and fulfillment. Helps give you guidance and accountability.
- The Sponsor advocates for career advancement. Helps open doors that a mentor alone might not be able to open.
How do you pick a mentor? Think about who do you want to model. Find someone that is willing to commit to you.
Principles of good mentoring relationship:
Transparency, authenticity, time commitment, process, feedback, accountability, intentionality.
Characteristics of a good mentor:
- Self-awareness
- Good listener
- Humility
- Committed personal investment in mentee
- Patience
- Persistence
Characteristics of a good mentee:
- Lifelong learner
- Vulnerability (take mask off)
- Commitment to process
- Appreciative (of time)
- Respectful
- Humility
Behavior follows belief and beliefs follow behavior. What do I believe about myself? Change your belief system.
THE LEARNING CIRCLE
(Observe, reflect, discuss…)
- What happened?
- How did I contribute, how did I react?
- What could I have done differently or better?
- Meet with mentor
A Mentor is there to be a good listener and ask good questions – not to give advice necessarily
(Plan, Act, Account)
- Share, observe and reflect…
- Talk together what can you do to remedy, resolve?
- How will you act to a Kairos event?
- If it’s a conflict situation, how do I respond to conflict? Consult with mentor.
- Account to mentor
To be an Effective Mentor, you must be a good listener.
(Probing, supportive, interpretive, reflective, evaluative)
In a mentoring relationship “teach them how to fish.”
Don’t be sympathetic – Most people have support for life events, positive or negative.
Reflective listening: non-judgmental for understanding and not agreement.
- What I hear what you are saying…
- Paraphrasing
- Clarifying
- Perception checking – feeling of the fact…
- Summarizing
Engage your mentee in conversation: That’s interesting…
- Tell me more…
- Why would you say that?
- Why would you do that?
- Why are you asking me that?
DON’T DO – Parroting, faking it, analyzing.
DO – Shut off all devices BE PRESENT.
S O L E R Approach
SOLER
Squarely face the person
Open your posture
Lean towards the sender
Eye contact maintained
Relax/reflex posture and content
10 Commandments
- Stop talking
- Smile and SOLER
- Pay attention to non-verbal cues
- Listen for what is not said
- Reflect back
- Tune in – listen to understand not to oppose
- Concentrate on tone and word emphasis
- Be patient – don’t interrupt
- Check your temper at the door and don’t become defensive
- Empathize with the speaker
“Success comes to those who have been given opportunities and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.” Michael Gladwell
Comment below! You can also reach Beth Fitch by email at: beth@righilaw.com
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